Certainty vs. Uncertainty

April 08, 2020

Certainty vs. Uncertainty

What do we know to be true?

What’s the reality versus the stories that we tell ourselves?

How do these stories effect out thoughts, our emotions and our mood?

Well…the stories got the best of me last week - when I went into panic mode for 48 hours because it was at that time when I realized that the kids would not be returning to school until September. And that means that I’m home with both my daughter with special needs and my son by myself for another five months - with my life being turned upside down.

The feelings were intense. The feelings were varied and they were all over the place. I reached out to friends as I knew that I couldn’t keep those emotions and feelings bottled up.

After two days, I caught myself - I knew that the stories were not certain, and I returned to thinking about things that I know for certain. This is the list that I came up with - and it was what I focus on to help me when I start to feel overwhelmed:

  • I am my daughter’s full-time caregiver
  • My daughter and son feed off of my energy
  • We are safe
  • We have a roof over our heads and food to eat
  • The season has changed and spring has arrived with warmer weather
  • I love my family
  • I am blessed to have friends who care for me
  • I am thankful for technology as it helps me connect with family and friends often

Then I started to ask myself how this time at home in self-isolation could become beneficial for us at all?

This is a challenging question to ask. I know that my life doesn’t have to be chaos. I get to choose. Am I letting too many external factors affect me?

I’m trying to focus on the certainty in my life as it’s the only thing that I’ve got.

I encourage all caregivers to come up with your own list. Start small - even if you can only think of one thing, start there and grow it over time.





Leave a comment


Also in News

Black and white photo of a woman sitting with her head in her hand and she's looking off to the side.
Respite and Guilt

January 31, 2022

How is it that the people who give so much find it so hard to receive? We need to release the guilt and other emotions related to having someone help us with our caregiving duties.

View full article →

A pair of hands of a caucasian person open with a small pair of hands laying on them.
Reality Check of Another Year

January 25, 2022

The permanence of the role as caregiver sometimes feels as if it's just setting in — even after 13 years of doing it on a daily basis. 



View full article →

You see a woman's face and shoulders and she's resting her head in her hands and looks distressed.
Caregiver Q&A

January 17, 2022

Question: I worry sometimes I’m turning into the “caregiver from hell,” but what’s the best way to toe the line between tough love and compassion when caring for someone?

View full article →

Sign up to receive my weekly blog, recipes and to learn more about upcoming retreats & courses.