Certainty vs. Uncertainty
What do we know to be true?
What’s the reality versus the stories that we tell ourselves?
How do these stories effect out thoughts, our emotions and our mood?
Well…the stories got the best of me last week - when I went into panic mode for 48 hours because it was at that time when I realized that the kids would not be returning to school until September. And that means that I’m home with both my daughter with special needs and my son by myself for another five months - with my life being turned upside down.
The feelings were intense. The feelings were varied and they were all over the place. I reached out to friends as I knew that I couldn’t keep those emotions and feelings bottled up.
After two days, I caught myself - I knew that the stories were not certain, and I returned to thinking about things that I know for certain. This is the list that I came up with - and it was what I focus on to help me when I start to feel overwhelmed:
- I am my daughter’s full-time caregiver
- My daughter and son feed off of my energy
- We are safe
- We have a roof over our heads and food to eat
- The season has changed and spring has arrived with warmer weather
- I love my family
- I am blessed to have friends who care for me
- I am thankful for technology as it helps me connect with family and friends often
Then I started to ask myself how this time at home in self-isolation could become beneficial for us at all?
This is a challenging question to ask. I know that my life doesn’t have to be chaos. I get to choose. Am I letting too many external factors affect me?
I’m trying to focus on the certainty in my life as it’s the only thing that I’ve got.
I encourage all caregivers to come up with your own list. Start small - even if you can only think of one thing, start there and grow it over time.
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I am grateful that I get to spend this time with her and her brother. I will honour this time of a more relaxed schedule.
Whichever route a family chooses, what matters is knowing when to ask for help and how to get the right help to care for any family member that needs an additional helping hand.