Choosing Compassion

April 25, 2021

A woman sitting on a rock looking out at the ocean. We see that she has blonde hair and wearing a cobalt blue top and white pants. The sky is blue with white clouds.

What about the caregivers?

My word of the month is compassion! As an autism mom managing this pandemic - it takes a lot of compassion to get through the day and not let other people's opinion matter.

My home province of Ontario, Canada, is in its third lockdown and stay-at-home order - which means that all outdoor recreation is closed.

The amount of stress and overwhelm that we caregivers were managing pre-Covid was enough and now this.

We need to gentle with ourselves as we remember that March 2020 introduced us to our first lockdown - and then the entire world got a glance of how caregivers live - uncertainty, no control over anything, family members reacting differently and mostly mothers having to take charge and ensure that everyone is alright.

Meanwhile, life is still happening - work still needs to get done, people still get sick, loved ones pass away and our hopes and desires still burn passionately.

I have hard from caregivers of how challenging it is. Some children don’t understand at all that there’s a pandemic - they simply know that their schedule has changed - and they express their frustration (which is so normal).

Overall, I thought I was doing well. I had made it through the winter lockdown (lockdown #2) which started on Boxing Day…but the recent announcement for lockdown #3 and all of its restrictions is just too much!

What about the mental health of our kids?

What about the mental health of us caregivers? We caregivers are also people, employees, entrepreneurs, social beings.

When people get tired and frustrated, compassion is usually one of the first things to go out the window. When actually, that’s when we need it most. Both compassion for ourselves and compassion for others.

For example, even though schools are closed, the provincial government decided to keep special education classes open so parents have the choice to send their kids to school for in-class learning.

I am so grateful for that because my daughter Summer loves school as that is her means of social interaction. Her one friend is her classmate.

I choose to send Summer to school. It’s not right or wrong, it’s simply my choice. I know parents who are keeping their kids home and trying online learning for the special education classes. They’re not right or wrong, it’s simply their choice.

When we can have compassion for ourselves and compassion for others, it reminds us that we’re all experiencing the same global pandemic, the same lockdown and that we’re all doing the very best that we can.

And I’m the first to admit that somedays are better than others.

But at least I know that I’m trying my best. I hope that you can also remind yourself that you’re doing the best that you can.

 





Leave a comment


Also in News

Black and white photo of a woman sitting with her head in her hand and she's looking off to the side.
Respite and Guilt

January 31, 2022

How is it that the people who give so much find it so hard to receive? We need to release the guilt and other emotions related to having someone help us with our caregiving duties.

View full article →

A pair of hands of a caucasian person open with a small pair of hands laying on them.
Reality Check of Another Year

January 25, 2022

The permanence of the role as caregiver sometimes feels as if it's just setting in — even after 13 years of doing it on a daily basis. 



View full article →

You see a woman's face and shoulders and she's resting her head in her hands and looks distressed.
Caregiver Q&A

January 17, 2022

Question: I worry sometimes I’m turning into the “caregiver from hell,” but what’s the best way to toe the line between tough love and compassion when caring for someone?

View full article →

Sign up to receive my weekly blog, recipes and to learn more about upcoming retreats & courses.