Escapism

October 23, 2019

Escapism

When the chaos is too much and the unpredictable behaviour rampant, I escape to my happy place - I pretend that I’m divorced and that I have shared custody 50/50.

In my daydream, divorce is a fairytale where I have every second week “off”. Mind you, I’m still working, cleaning and cooking, I simply don’t have the kids so its a caregiver’s version of a vacation.

Now is it really wrong to be jealous of divorced friends?

Imagine an entire weekend where I could do exactly what I wanted…and then it repeated itself every second week. Tell me more is what you would say to me. You want this magical place as well, I know you do.

During the kid-free week, the fight or flight feeling would actually have time to disappear and I could relax. I feel the tension in my shoulder release just a little with only the thought of having one week to myself.

I also image how much more engaged and present I would be with my daughter and son for the week that they were with me. I would be rested. Imagine the patience that I would have. I would have the time to do more activities and take on potentially stressful outings because I would have the patience and mental clarity to manage things should a meltdown occur.

I could finally do all the at-home activities that the therapists give us at the end of a session. The activities usually end up in a pile. I would be a rock-start caregiver.

In my dream, shared custody is the jam. As this is my fantasy, there are no feelings of missing the kids, there is no sadness about the divorce, or worrying about how they are doing, etc. Everything is sweet and utter satisfaction.

I’m now awaken from my daydream to the sound of something smashing. Reality brings me back - and brings me back hard. Sometimes reality does bite.

I guess I’ll now await for the next daydream to take me away……. 

 





Leave a comment


Also in News

An older lady sitting on a chair with her left arm on the arm rest and he hand at her forehead. There's no expression on her face as she looks toward the floor. There's an older gentleman in the background, but he's blurry.
Q&A: Managing Feelings of Resentment

October 11, 2021

Is it because so much of our caring takes place behind closed doors? Is it because we don’t share our experiences with others because we assume no one will understand?

View full article →

A girl wearing a grey knitted sweater is blurry and she has her hand stretched out and is holding a red heart. The heart is the only thing in focus.
The Power of Self-Compassion

October 03, 2021

I always say that our emotions are our personal GPS to let us know how we’re feeling at any given moment. When I experience difficult emotions like sadness, fear, shame, confusion, or disappointment, I used to get overwhelmed.

View full article →

15 mini marshmallows in different colours of orange, yellow, pink and foam green. Each marshmallow has a different facial expression with black marker. The background is pale pink.
Honouring Your Emotions

September 26, 2021

Parenting a child with special needs means that you've experienced emotions of anger, resentment, fear, sadness, worry and guilt. It's important to acknowledge these emotions and not deny them.

View full article →

Sign up to receive my weekly blog, recipes and to learn more about upcoming retreats & courses.