My Best is Mine Alone
I was talking with a Mom recently who had lost a significant amount of weight a few years ago. We had run into each other at our boys’ basketball tournament, so I took her aside from the other parents and told her that she looked healthy and congratulated her for having kept the weight off - acknowledging how challenging it could be.
Her immediate response was, “I know! It’s so hard to keep the weight off and I’ve already gained a little of it back.” I reminded her that she looked very good and encouraged her to focus on what she had accomplished.
I shared with her that we all have our weak moments and bad days, and that we shouldn’t beat ourselves up over them. I confessed that sometimes when I go to get groceries, that I’ll sit in my vehicle in the parking lot and devour an entire Green & Blacks chocolate almond bar. My goodness, they taste so good with the pieces of whole almonds mixed with the milk chocolate.
I tell myself that nobody saw me it, so therefore, no harm was done.
She responded to this confession with “l like you a little more now.”
Hmmm. This got my wheels turning and made me realize that in the past, I would have kept that “dirty little secret” to myself as I would have been embarrassed that I was being a hypocrite. You see, I’m always sharing tips for a health lifestyle - and how I prefer to make meals from scratch, exercise, eat well, etc.
Also, why can’t I eat a quarter or half of the chocolate bar and keep the rest for later? Right! Why don’t I have any self-control? Am I not teaching my son about this very issue - having self-control?
Because that is not how I work, and its not how I’m made! It’s all or nothing with me.....unfortunately. My mantra is “I won’t sin if you don’t tempt me.”
I’ve only recently embraced my life of contradictions - and I’m embracing it with pride. I’m acknowledging that its alright for things not to all add up.
In fact, I’m not being a hypocrite at all, I’m simply doing the best that I can.
For example, I’m very environmentally conscious and have made it a point of reducing one-use items in my house. Yet, I still buy Pull-ups for my daughter - and we use them every day! Bless and release.
It’s a balance, and I’m learning to release the guilt. Taking some actions is certainly better than not caring at all for the environment.
I share this with you caregivers as inspiration to be kinder to yourself. What can you release? What if you tell yourself that your best is yours alone.
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I am grateful that I get to spend this time with her and her brother. I will honour this time of a more relaxed schedule.
Whichever route a family chooses, what matters is knowing when to ask for help and how to get the right help to care for any family member that needs an additional helping hand.