No! My Life is Not Perfect!

August 03, 2019

No! My Life is Not Perfect!

Perception is an amazing thing I learned recently - how I view my life compared to how someone else views it. I was quite shocked when someone told me that she thought that I had the perfect life - like, for real!

For the first minute, anger shot through my veins and I thought to myself, “Who in the hell tells a parent of a child with special needs that her life was perfect?? What planet do they live on…..do they even know the daily challenges…..?”

After those first 60 seconds passed, I went from being angry to perplexed as my brain was trying to understand how someone could both think and say that. It was during the third minute that the meaning behind her statement started to sink in and I soon realized that I should take this former insensitive comment and look at it as a compliment.

She was not using the lens of the things that had happened in my life when she said that my life looked perfect, rather, she was focusing on how I choose to react and live my life on a daily basis (maybe?).

I'm sharing this to inspire fellow caregivers that everything is a choice - for me personally, this means trying to remove the words can’t, busy, should and shouldn’t from my vocabulary.

So very often, caregivers are focused on taking care of other human beings, and we can get stuck in a survival mode where we focus on a daily schedule. At this point, our energy is focused on getting through the day and we don’t even consider taking time for ourselves.

Caregivers forget to take the time to examine their own mental state (sometimes out of fear of what we will find). Am I happy? What is one thing that will make me feel better? How can I make that one thing happen?

Sometimes making the right choice is scary and feels uncomfortable, but it is not selfish to put ourselves first. Self-care for caregivers means giving ourselves permission to put ourselves first; even when it makes others feel uncomfortable.

I laugh now when thinking that someone thought that my life was perfect. It was a beautiful compliment as I do try to choose to find the positive in all that the universe throws my way. 

One of my goals for 2019 is not to take life so seriously - even when dealing with heavy shit. Drama is not my story. Negativity is not my story. I choose joy, love and positivity. I also choose to surround myself with people who embody joy, love and positivity. 

May all the caregivers of children with special needs find that one thing that makes them feel better - and make the choice to do it, and do it more often.

Let’s choose to make the rest of 2019 a fantastic year!





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