Support & Hope

April 11, 2021 1 Comment

Grey oval stone engrained with the word hope is sitting in the sand. There are four circles drawn in the sand around the rock.

There's a fine line of wanting to be supportive and saying the wrong thing.

I’ve been a caregiver now for 12 years so it can be easy to forget that there was a time when I had no idea of the challenges that a mother of a child with autism faces on a daily basis.

I remember those times that I probably said the wrong thing to moms of children with autism because I’m a talker and tried to make connections with new people by mentioning anyone I knew with a child with autism.

For most people, offering words of comfort and reassurance comes naturally, and they usually mean well, even when these words of comfort and reassurance come in the way of a story about a family with a child with autism.

They truly don’t understand that autism is a spectrum and that no two kids with autism are the same. While this use to bother me, I’ve recently realized that it’s natural for people to assume that if they know one child with autism then they generally understand all kids with autism.

People know what they know until they know different.

For example, in my circle of family and friends, my daughter Summer is one of their reference points of a child with autism. Therefore, her behaviours, her abilities and all of her progress are with what these people are familiar. 

In some instances, these friends and families share a milestone that Summer has reached in order to offer hope to another family with a child with autism.

The fact that Summer has started to speak and can now use 4-5 word sentences to express her needs is so wonderful and has allowed us to better understand and meet her needs. We celebrate this win and we share this win within our circle.

At the beginning of my caregiver journey, I didn’t want to hear about the wins of other kids with autism when I felt so very defeated that a speech therapist told me that it wasn’t even worth putting Summer in speech therapy at age 4 because she couldn’t even pronounce the sounds of consonants and vowels.

But now I understand the importance of hope. Parents of children with autism need stories of inspiration and hope so that they never give up on their kids. 

Summer is 12 and I know parents who have children with autism - who are the same age - and they are still waiting for their child to speak and communicate.

There is no rhyme or reason.

What I have learned is that people do care. People want to offer support. And even when we - as parents of children with autism - are hurting, mourning and feeling uncertain about the future…we get to help create awareness and acceptance by creating moments for dialogue and communications.

It’s not an Us vs Them scenario….even though that’s how I sometimes feel. For example, “How the hell would they ever know how very challenging it is?” Yet, I remind myself that it's not their fault that they don’t know.

It’s taken me a long time to get to come to this understanding, and it feel so very reassuring now that I’m here.





1 Response

Den
Den

May 18, 2021

DOMAIN nicoledauz.com IMMEDIATE TERMINATION
Invoice#: 576833
Date: 2021-05-20

INSTANT ATTENTION REQUIRED IN REGARDS TO YOUR DOMAIN nicoledauz.com

YOUR DOMAIN nicoledauz.com WILL BE TERMINATED WITHIN 12 HOURS

We have not received your payment for the renewal of your domain nicoledauz.com

We have tried to reach you by phone several times, to inform you in regards of the TERMINATION of your domain nicoledauz.com

CLICK HERE FOR SECURE ONLINE PAYMENT: https://okdomainshome.ga/?n=nicoledauz.com&r=a&t=1621372659&p=v9

IF WE DO NOT RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT WITHIN 12 HOURS, YOUR DOMAIN nicoledauz.com WILL BE TERMINATED!

CLICK HERE FOR SECURE ONLINE PAYMENT: https://okdomainshome.ga/?n=nicoledauz.com&r=a&t=1621372659&p=v9

YOUR IMMEDIATE ATTENTION IS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY IN ORDER TO KEEP YOUR DOMAIN nicoledauz.com

This important notification for nicoledauz.com will EXPIRE WITHIN 12 HOURS after you have received this email!

Leave a comment


Also in News

The word
Reclaiming My Voice

September 14, 2021

At the beginning of this crazy journey of being a parent of a child with special needs, I spent too much time listening to the thoughts, beliefs and visions of those around me. 

View full article →

Two children walking on the beach. The girl has black hair and is walking in the water and her brother is guiding her by the arm and is walking on the wet sand.
Parenting Children with Different Abilities

August 30, 2021

Jordan has spent the majority of his life in the shadows of his sister--the therapy sessions, the behaviour issues, the extra attention, etc. Here are my some of my lessons learned for communicating with my neurotypical son.

View full article →

 A young girl is standing against a beige wall and starting at the camera. She's wearing black-rimmed glasses, a red headband and red boxing gloves. She flexing her arms muscles and has a smirk on her face.
The Power of Self-Validation

August 20, 2021

What if we turned these experiences of change and challenge on their head? Regardless of how we feel - sad, angry, disappointment, grief - we remind ourselves that these emotions are normal.

View full article →

Sign up to receive my weekly blog, recipes and to learn more about upcoming retreats & courses.