Why is Accepting Help so Hard?
I’m so proud of myself and wanted to share my big win of the week with all of you….I said “yes” when a friend offered help with Summer.
You’re probably wondering why that’s such a big deal, but how often do you actually accept help from family and friends when they offer it?
You see, a few weeks ago, my 62-year-old friend said that she wanted to help out with Summer and my initial thoughts were:
- Why would she want to help?
- She lives too far away.
- She won’t want to spell words and play with building blocks.
- How will they connect?
- Why, why why?
I ignored all of these voices screaming in my head, - saying that it would be too complicated and too much work (the irony).
I took a deep breath and I envisioned the best-case scenario. My friend coming over, playing with Summer in the downstairs playroom while I’m in a different part of the house and maybe down the line, me leaving the house to run errands.
And then when I really let myself dream, I though of me sitting and relaxing - as in, not needing to check things off my to-do list, other than some down time.
The beautiful part is that yesterday my friend came to the house to meet Summer and we hung out in the playroom and spelled words, built houses and rockets and then knocked them down with balls. Summer was the center of attention, and she loved it.
There was a genuine connection and I believe that Summer was happy to have someone new come to play. I’m excited about the next visit where I’ll excuse myself and see how things go.
I share this because I find it fascinating that even though I want help, I didn’t know how to accept it or articulate what I needed in terms of unpaid support when people offered.
Baby steps for this caregivers, but at least I’m headed down a new exciting path.
I would love to hear whether you have had any similar experiences?
Remember, there is no right or wrong. No judgment.
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I am grateful that I get to spend this time with her and her brother. I will honour this time of a more relaxed schedule.
Whichever route a family chooses, what matters is knowing when to ask for help and how to get the right help to care for any family member that needs an additional helping hand.