Sacrifice in Caregiving

Defining Sacrifice

How is the word sacrifice so powerful that it moved me to tears? First, let’s look at the definition of the word. Cambridge Dictionary defines it as “to give up something that is valuable to you in order to help another person.”

Where do I even begin? As a parent caregiver, the number of things that I believe I gave up are numerous. Am I allowed to say that?

For me, I instantly feel shame for admitting that I have had to sacrifice so much to ensure that my daughter lives a meaningful life.

‍The Unique Challenges of Caregiving

I have only recently (in the last 2-3 years) started to process all the intangible loss that comes with caregiving. Things like the loss of the mother-daughter relationship I had dreamt of, the loss of the sibling relationship for Jordan that I grew up with, the loss of freedom, and the loss of control—just to name a few.

Broadly, yes, women usually make sacrifices when becoming a mother and starting a family.

Let’s be clear: becoming a parent caregiver is an entirely different beast. Life is so completely different.

‍The Caregiver Paradox

What’s most challenging for me is that I have found my purpose in life being Summer’s mom. Therefore, I feel conflicted talking about the sacrifices I have made. Well, there you have it—another paradox to add to the caregiver paradox list.

It made me realize that it doesn’t have to be an either/or. It can be a both/and.

Yes, I have found my purpose AND I have made many sacrifices throughout the last 16 years.

I have experienced traumatic events. My emotional well-being has been tested. Presently, I experience ongoing overwhelm related to Summer’s care, camps, paperwork, and safety.

‍Building a Foundation for Well-Being

It makes me think: how does one come to terms with their caregiving journey?

YES, I accept that this is my reality. Yet, how do I process ALL the things? Is that part of the lesson? To slow down, to take things day by day and process things one at a time. Trying to process ALL the things may be more daunting than the things themselves…lol

I have a full toolbox of skills. Dang it, I became a certified meditation teacher.

I can certainly tell you that all of these tools and skills don’t keep challenges at bay. Caregiving is hard and keeps surprising me as my daughter is transitioning from a teenager to a young woman.

We need so much compassion and grace for ourselves in those moments when we stumble, fall on our knees, feel it all too much, or simply hit exhaustion. This is the moment where we remind ourselves that we are human.

We are meant to feel.

This is why I do what I do. Caregiver wellness is essential to survive the journey.

My journey is an ultramarathon as Summer will require support throughout her lifetime. I imagine that there are still more sacrifices to come.

The work that I do now—the moments of joy that I sprinkle throughout my day, my commitment to exercise, meditation, and time with loved ones—these are the foundation for my well-being now and for the future.

‍Reflect and Reclaim Your Strength

Finding harmony in your caregiving journey happens when you are intentional. Remember that you are worthy enough to create moments of joy and well-being in your life. I am here to support you on your journey.

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