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Awareness as Our First Step
Awareness is key to helping us take even one small step in the right direction. In moments when we feel overwhelmed as caregivers, it can be difficult to see a way forward. But by pausing and bringing awareness to what we’re experiencing, we give ourselves the space to choose a different response. This first step doesn’t have to be perfect; it just has to bring us closer to understanding ourselves in the moment.
For me, when the weight of caregiving feels paralyzing, it’s this practice of awareness that often throws me a lifeline. By allowing myself to get curious and gently explore the source of my overwhelm, I find glimpses of grace and self-compassion. These moments feel like someone has tossed me a buoy after hours of treading water. Suddenly, I can breathe, feel grounded, and, if I dare mix metaphors, start to see the forest beyond the trees.
Reflecting on Patterns of Exhaustion
Recently, I returned from a 10-day “vacation” with my kids feeling utterly exhausted. But this time, instead of pushing through, I paused and asked myself, *Why do I feel so drained? What was different about this trip?* That moment of reflection allowed me to step back and consider things from Summer’s perspective.
On previous trips to my parents' house, we usually arrived late, and my son, Jordan, would sleep on the sofa before heading to my brother’s the next morning. That gave him a break from his sister, Summer, and helped her settle into the visit. This time, however, when we arrived at 9 pm, my niece picked him up immediately, and we said goodbye to Jordan right away. I realized that the sudden change likely made Summer feel anxious, making her determined to keep me close. Rather than sleeping in “her” room, she insisted on sharing my bed for the entire trip.
When Awareness Shifts Us from Reaction to Understanding
This simple act of reflection—of stepping back to consider Summer’s experience—allowed me to see that her behavior wasn’t about my exhaustion but her need for comfort and reassurance. When I’m able to make that shift from reaction to understanding, I feel better equipped to respond with empathy rather than frustration.
Now that I no longer operate in a constant fight-or-flight mode, any return to that state feels particularly exhausting. I’m learning to recognize that I can be both incredibly resilient and emotionally fragile. This awareness has been a vital part of my self-care, reminding me to check in with myself, understand my feelings, and ignore the mean-spirited thoughts that sometimes try to take over.
Awareness as a Tool for Self-Compassion
This understanding has helped me be kinder to myself. By practicing awareness, I can take stock of how I’m feeling and give myself permission to rest when I need it. This act of self-compassion silences the inner critic who often tries to convince me that resting is selfish or lazy. I’ve come to believe that awareness and self-compassion go hand-in-hand, allowing us to create a safe space within ourselves.
When I lean into awareness, I find I’m better able to care for myself and, by extension, for my children. This gentle act of pausing and noticing has become a daily practice that helps me feel grounded in the chaos of caregiving.
Can You Relate as a Parent Caregiver?
As parent caregivers, we know that each day brings its own mix of joy, exhaustion, resilience, and vulnerability. Can you relate to these moments of awareness and the ways they can offer strength and clarity?
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